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The bandname makes me think about fourteen-year old boys, with acne, jerking off and laughing at bad sex-jokes together. Reality isn’t that far away. Except that these guys are older and probably mentally setback. The production alone is a nightmare. Where are the guitars? Are the guitars actually playing anything, cause I don’t hear it anywhere! The vocals sound like they have been recorded in the shower or something.But still, this is kind of fun, in some weird, twisted way. Imagine getting drunk listening to this. I would laugh my ass off! I just had to raise the grade from a 1 to a 2,5 otherwise it doesn’t justify the humour in this. Just reading the lyrics (that by the way are mostly only about for rows) is fun. I mean, I truly think this is a joke, and a pretty good one too. These guys obviously know how to play their instruments. It’s tight and you hear some traces of okay riffs, whatever you can make out from this mess. And just read this: “Not many people know, Christ was an angry drunk, he liked to beat up chicks he liked to puke and fuck. Kicked out of every bar, out on his holy ass he borrowed twenty bucks he never paid me back.” No one can seriously write that! The songs are only about one minute long, with all kinds of pre-recorded intros of religious fanatics and idiots talking. I don’t know whether I should weep or laugh. I think I’m going to get really drunk and laugh ‘til I cry. In the mean time read the song listing and have a good laugh. Oh, and by the way, don’t try to enter this band’s webpage (which used to be www.cumchrist.com). Strangely enough the domain name has expired. Wonder why?
| Tracklist |
| 1. Ditchpig |
| 2. Jesus Sold Me A Bunk Eight |
| 3. Mary Had A Little Clam |
| 4. Crucifixion Must Hurt Like A Bitch |
| 5. Vaginal Bloodfarts |
| 6. Jesus Was A Facepainter |
| 7. I Had To Break Up With Your Mom |
| 8. In The Sea Of Heavy Metal, You Are Plankton |
| 9. Let's Pretend I'm The Pope |
| 10. Jesus Was An Angry Drunk |
| 11. God Owes Me Money |
| 12. Phlegm Phlagm |
| 13. Jehovah Probe |
| 14. Yahweh Is My Mom |
| 15. Ripping At The Flesh Of Jesus Christ |
| 16. I Spell God C.U.N.T. |
| 17. Battery Acid Enema |
| 18. My Toothless Bitch |
: 24.38
| Buy other Cumchrist albums |
